Confessions of an ISTJ

Today, my great friend Petra is going to tell us about her personality. Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com. If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU!

                                                                                   
ISTJs... coined by 16personalities.com as “The Logistician[s]” make up a large percentage of the population, compared to the other personality types. It was interesting when I took the quiz, to find out my results, and it was really cool just how on target most of their profile was. They really know us well! I'll recap what I learned and share some of my own thoughts here.

 

Breakdown: (from my profile here: http://www.16personalities.com/profiles/559aa4e6ce7a5)

Introverted rather than Extroverted...refers solitary activities, is more comfortable with nonverbal communication and prefers to consider what they will say before speaking, often grows tired from social interaction.

Observant rather than Intuitive...down to earth, aware of practicality, and mindful of the past as it relates to the future.

Thinking rather than Feeling...tough cookies, opinionated, objective and rational.

Judging rather than Prospecting...decisive, preferring clear rules and guidelines, seeking structure and closure.


To an ISTJ, the importance of logic, fact, integrity, stability, and autonomy is high. I would say we quickly recognize the lack of logic in conversations, ideas, and opinions. This observation, coupled with our inherent drive to find a solution, moves us to quickly find the error in the logic. Everything needs to be practical. It needs to make sense. There must be a solid reason for something, or we race to find it. If that reason can't be found, we will likely abandon the idea.

Honesty, truth, fact...these are favorites of ours. We fear things that appear different than they really are, because we need to see things at face value so we can find the correct course of action. Dishonesty is incredibly crippling, and we hate the idea of being betrayed or lied to. If information is false, that threatens the success of our plan and basically throws practicality and efficiency out the proverbial window. We need to be able to trust people, and thrive when we are trusted. It cuts deeply to find another person untrustworthy, and cuts even deeper when we find that true of ourselves. For the most part, we will stick to the truth, often bluntly, even when it may cost something to us or another person. In our haste to uphold fact, we may come across as unfeeling or cold. It takes effort for us to find tactful ways to present the truth, especially when we expect others to accept it as unquestioningly as we do.

Personal integrity is a core aspect of our personality. Tending to be opinionated, we stick stubbornly to those things we have found to be logical and true. What we believe to be right becomes the yardstick by which we measure our decisions. “Crossing a line” just isn't an option...we rigorously resist attempts to change our mind and grow angry when others threaten or question our choices. Standards and rules are vital to how we live and work. Without a clear standard, things are confusing and impossible to analyze. As a result, we cannot correctly move forward in a logical and practical sense. This threatens our stability, leaving us feeling “up in the air”, insecure, and stressed out.

This stability and consistency is something that makes life bearable for an ISTJ. Without it, we can feel like we're hanging in midair, no firm footing and no clear plan for action ahead of us. We struggle when we can't see likely outcomes, thus preventing our preparation and completion. Change is an unknown factor. It makes us cringe. We like change in a controlled environment, when we can manipulate it to achieve our intended result. We appreciate the beauty and necessity of change, and enjoy watching the logical process as A turns into B, which becomes C. To achieve C, A must change. But if we can't control the process, and there's a chance A could actually become F or H, we might freak out a little bit.

The above four aspects of our personality all relate to the final point, autonomy. In a lot of cases, an ISTJ will probably prefer to avoid a team, and just get it done. We recognize logic, and sometimes it just takes way to long to explain it, which threatens efficiency and practicality. It scares us that by working with others, we have to rely on them and this idea of dependence on other people is in many cases a “no no.” If there is risk of betraying our convictions, duties, and integrity, we will opt for self sufficiency. There can be a lot of unknowns when involving a group of people, and our need for stability gets in the way of teamwork sometimes. However, our ability to construct a logical train of thought, and our comfort with autonomy can be a hugely successful asset. We are able to get things done, and our dedication to integrity will ensure it gets done right. We search for the facts, so that we have all the details necessary for the job, and then we do it...or, we find someone who can. We can be very effective leaders and members of teams and groups, but most often would choose to keep it close to home.

I think if I had to sum up the ISTJ in four words, it might be something like, “Does it make sense?” ;)

 

Petra is 22 years old and lives in Golden, CO.  She is currently studying math and works at a local school as a paraprofessional.  She enjoys swimming, listening to music, spending time with friends, learning about God, and hopes to learn to play the cello in the near future.  When she isn't doing these things, she works on perfecting her Chrome Dinosaur Game expertise.  :)   

Confessions of an INFJ

 Hello, all!  Today's guest post is by Elizabeth Kaiser, here to teach us about her personality type!  Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com.  If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU!  

~  ~  ~  ~

 First of all you should know that some have called into question the veracity of the MBTI testing system, and proposed the whole thing be thrown out. 

 If you're an INFJ, though, that suggestion is just plain silly.

 Because: so what if the test is not fool-proof, iron-clad, test-to-end-all-tests categorically classifying every known or possible personality tendency?

 INFJ's are okay with ambiguity!

 And if it helps someone to understand themselves better, even a little bit, then off course it's worth it.

 Because INFJ's are really about trying for perfection, while simultaneously realizing perfection is impossible.

 This breaks our hearts a little bit at all times, and so leaves us just about two steps away from sad perpetually.

 But that's also okay, since great wisdom can come from great sorrow. (If you use it right.)

 And that's about this personality type in a nutshell; we're okay with ambiguity. The entire life experience is a mixed bag of happy/sad, because we consistently see the reverse of every coin we're looking at... which can help us weather down times and hopeless situations because we can see hope in the middle of the fog, as well.

 So we're rarely uber-happy, and this makes it kind of fun to be around those personality types that are just mindlessly ecstatic about stuff. It's a refreshing break from our own swirling thoughts and multi-angle view points... sometimes having someone else show us what it's like to take life merely on face value, at this moment... it's fun.

 But not for too long, because the shallowness will depress us and then we have to have space to regain our even keel.

Down sides of being an INFJ:

We worry.    ...A lot.

We remember everything.... including all of our mistakes. In fact, our own mistakes bother us more than others', and this is just depressing.

We try to figure out how to make everyone happy.... which is impossible, so ends up depressing.

We try to out-think the world for everyone's best interests.... and then other people, and the world, don't cooperate.

We don't accept our own faults... and therefore have a hard time believing anyone else could, either. So it can be difficult for us to feel loved... and like most of the "I" types, we yearn to belong.

 We feel like strangers, outcasts, and aliens, and we know this is because we're so different from Most People. 

Up-sides of being an INFJ:

 Yep, we really do read minds, and can "catch" what you're feeling even before you realize you're feeling that. It's basically acute observation, with an intense ability to predict coupled with a deep ability to care. (This makes us vulnerable, because other's bad attitudes invade our brain space and we can't fully shut them out. Even with practice, the "green smoke" sneaks in and wisps around our feet, and we have to work really hard to pretend it's not happening. But it is.)

 We want to help, but don't want to be intrusive. We'll got to great lengths to thoughtfully map out the very best plan of attack for you to use... and if you throw it away, and laugh at our reasoning, than pretty soon we will distance ourselves from you. Because you've rendered yourself as a threat to our equilibrium; we can't be around you while you sabotage yourself, it hurts us inside. 

Therefore we can become angry and drive the self-saboteur away, because our energy is dangerously sapped by their hurtful presence. 

 We're really good at predicting outcomes, not because we've got some sixth sense, but because we can see cause-and-affect really well, and we've been studying the world from the time we could talk... the way some people obsess over chess or football, or any other kind of sport. In fact, we don't care for "silly games" (i.e. all games) because Life is the game we're constantly challenged with. 

 And we do memorize the plays... so yes. We're pretty good at that.

 We can be really good at figuring out what's really important to us in life, and so we can trim away everything that isn't. Since we're not herd-followers, this can make us appear eclectic, or even eccentric, but it's just us being honest.

 There is great freedom in being honest.

 Because we delve so deeply, we can get a huge amount of enjoyment out of simple things. Like a particular day, or that one great friendship. We don't have to fly to Paris (actually, that sounds really awkward... do you even speak French? How could you thoughtlessly fly somewhere you'd be incapable of communicating with?) or have a thousand rose petals showered over us. (Again; who's going to clean those up? Are they going to be left to rot right there?) But we can completely savor a companionable afternoon stroll and a carton of Breyer's, one slow spoon at a time.

 We make less mistakes than Most People. This is a serious upside, for while we obsess over the mistakes we do make, (yes, like we actually expect we Should Have Been Able to live a perfect life... and are disappointed in ourselves when we fail to measure up to that) we in actuality make far fewer stupid missteps than most, because we watch and learn from others. 

This can mean that we find ourselves mid-way through life with very few regrets, and this is a beautiful thing for an INFJ. (So take heart, all you Introverted Feelers... you may be ridiculed when young for your attempt at caution & wisdom, but it definitely pays off later on!!!)

Bullet list of Interesting Things about INFJs:

1.  We are loyal. To people, to causes, to groups... It takes a lot of abuse to make us walk away, but once we're gone, we're never coming back. Don't say "I'm sorry, forgive me and come back." It's nice you're sorry (though we can tell you aren't really,) we already forgave you/are working on it, because it's intruding on our personal peace, and nope; NEVER standing there again. EVER. Deal with it. You've lost, because you've lost us... completely. We now have worthier things to be loyal to.
2. We are not anti-authority. We simply recognize not all authority is competent, and so rule out any form that's just blustering and going nowhere. We're a bare-bones type of mystical-seer-person, and yep... being a boss is not the same as a leader. And don't even try to convince us "it's for our own good". We've long ago deduced exactly what you're getting out of it, and how & why that's coming from us. And no, we're not falling for that.
3. If we can use our ability to see around a problem to re-frame the things we dislike about ourselves, to view them as strengths in disguise, or messages of what we need to change... then we can reach a balanced perspective of our self. This is our greatest super-power, and the one thing we INFJs should definitely do. Because our ability to help people is hindered if we're crippling our own selves with our internal criticism.
4. We are great researchers. With our attention to detail only if/when it actually matters we can look it up on the internet then walk away and perform brain surgery and it'll likely be successful. We won't be able to explain it to anyone else, making other more concrete types scoff at our "research", but we'll be able to make it come together well and probably save the life if it needs saving. We may never use the information again, and if ever needed to do the same thing twice we may need to pop back on the internet and brush up... since we don't carry abstract, "unimportant" details well. We're all about the personal connection, so any tidbit that helps us toward the goal will be dumped as soon as the goal is achieved. It's the goal that counts... and our thought processes are the same way. That's why we can often leap to correct deductions with the speed of light, but can't explain how we got there. The info we sensed and sourced is jettisoned as soon as the obvious path becomes clear.
5. We are confusing to everyone... and that can even include ourselves. This is why it's very important for an INFJ to try to understand itself as well as we try to understand others... and if we meet someone who cares enough to try to understand us to, this is very endearing. But no one should take this lightly, since "fake empathy" turns us off worse than anything else.
6. We love to live in a joyful moment, and love people who help us do this, especially if they're nurturing, gentle sort. We take criticism very seriously, so if it's broached softly it will actually be the most effective. Harsh negatives can crush us to the point where we're no longer able to act on the critique, we're too busy trying to stop the gushing blood. Carelessly critical people are deadly to an INFJ... and being told they "are too sensitive" is no cure. (It's actually really callous and uncalled for... and has totally to opposite effect on us... and yes, we'll always hear your words ringing in our ears whenever we look at you. Or hear your name... or, pretty much anything.)

 Being an INFJ is great. But it can be lonely, as the second rarest type, and we help people misclassify us all the time, because we're highly able to chameleon into a facade of just about any other type. We can be completely opposite to us for a short while if called for, and because we're always paying attention to what goes on inside, we can easily nurture just about any attribute from any of the types. This is exhausting work, but if the good of all requires it, we'll basically kill ourselves doing it.

 In short, if you're lucky enough to have a relationship with an INFJ, cherish it!!! Feel free to take their advice, 'cause they're really good at it. They may be cautious to give it, so you have to earn their trust before they'll be truthful with you, 'cause some times the truth hurts and they'd never want to do that unless someone really, really sincerely asked for it.

   If by some chance the advice they gave doesn't work right, they will probably feel even worse about it than you do. So don't beat them up about it (they'll be beating themselves up about it!). Work together to create a patch-up plan, and let them know you don't blame them. Help keep them focused on the big picture, and make sure they see it. 

  

 Here's a quote to leave you with...

"INFJs; don't write an email, they write an essay." This is kind of true... ;-) But there's usually so much to be said on a subject before it's fully communicated, with no possibility of being taken wrong! :-)

~  ~  ~  ~  

Want to be part of the 16 Personality post series?  Take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com.  If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU!  

E. Kaiser Writes

Author, Artist, Illustrator

  E. Kaiser Writes began publishing professionally in 2011, and has been read internationally. Reviews and interviews from all over reflect a growing recognition for her immersive worlds, high-definition three dimensional characters, and uniquely flavored plot lines.

  She credits her nearly nomadic childhood for the vast reach of her fictional worlds; she has lived (and gotten to know the locals) in the Rocky Mtns, the Smoky Mtns, the plains, the deep forest, the searing Texas summer and frozen Minnesota north.

Her first novel, Jeweler's Apprentice, (2011) was a light-fantasy adventure for teens, where a shy, bookish heroine is thrust out on the first step toward the adventure that awaits, and the difficult thing that is called ‘growing up’.

  Traitor's Knife, 2^nd in the series, (2013) ups the stakes as the apprentice Fia Brithin grows bolder, and so do the agents of the enemy. When sabotage stalks her new home, it is hard to tell if assassins are right behind, and her life may be forfeit for the friendship she treasures.

  King’s Ward, 3^rd in the series, (TBA) sees Fia becoming more entangled in the war across the mountains, because the war is no longer staying across the mountains. Once again she must pull herself away from her comfort zone and tackle new challenges, and this time a life she holds very dear hangs by a thread she must carefully spin under the noses of dangerous eyes.

(More in this series to come.)

In her second series, the THAW: quartet starts off a new collection of Fairytale retellings which will span over fifty years in the tumultuous realm of three worlds, entwining several family lines. The adventure sprouted with a combination of The Snow Child, Snegurken, & The Snow Queen. The series debuted Jan. 2015; with origins novella Winter's Child swiftly joined by Winter Queen and then Prince of Demargen. The Thaw Quartet will be wrapped up when Reindeer King releases, but the series continues with Council of Swans, Princess of Noran, Beaded Slipper, Twelve Dark Knights, and The Book of Keld (to name a few) will forge further into many more fairytales, both old and new.

  She also hosts and edits the Space Kitties Anthologies, (submission period open July-August!) Please do join us!

Character Interview

While the plotting of Jenna's story is underway, the MCs are flourishing in my mind.  These two could not be more different, I am very much looking forward to writing their story. 

So, since I'm not actually ready to begin writing in earnest, I decided to do an interview of sorts.  Here's a glimpse of their personalities...


Jenna

Hi, Jenna! It's great to get to talk to you today.

Thank you for having me, I'm excited to be here! 

So, first question, what was your initial reaction to know that you'd be cooped up in a safehouse indefinitely? 

Laughs Is it too late to run? No, actually, by that point I was ready for some downtime. Life had really put me through the ringer.

When you met Tael, what was your first impression of him?

Quite honestly, I thought he was the cat's meow, if he would only smile a little more.

He didn't smile much at the beginning, did he?

It's understandable, I mean, with his line of work and everything. But I like him better when he smiles.

What was your first fight about?

Oh my, there's been so many. Laughs at the memories The first fight was when I was right and he refused to admit it! Actually, I don't remember exactly what it was about... it had something to do with my inability to express my feelings about the homicides, yet somehow he felt that I expected him to know how I was feeling. It was kind of twisted, and our emotions were both running high. I think we both just needed someone to yell at for a while. 

And yelling helps?

Most definitely. Neither one of us takes it personally, which is a miracle, for sure. I guess we both suppress our emotions, and when it comes to blows, we're too frustrated with each other and ourselves to take anything to heart. 

Tael seems to really embrace tradition. Does this cause a lot of stress on your relationship?

It did at first. Mostly because he didn't understand me, and I thought he was just being a stick-in-the mud simply to aggravate me. Eventually we came to an understanding. I think tradition is boring, and he thinks spontaneity is terrifying. So, when the stakes are down, he allows me to have a little fun. But when things get tense, I let him cling to his tradition. It works for both of us.

You talk a lot more than Tael does. Does this draw you together or pull you apart?

Ah, I can't remember how many times I have said, "Tael, just talk to me." He internalizes things naturally, but I feel like that when expectations and plans aren't spoken out loud, they're just a beast lurking in the darkness. At least when they're spoken, we both can see what the other is thinking clearly. At first, it caused stress on our relationship. I talked too much and he didn't talk enough. But I think we've found a healthy balance. 

What is one thing that is on your bucket list that you're not sure you'll be able to get Tael to do?

Skydiving. He tells me, "Anyone who would jump out of a perfectly good airplane is completely insane." I just smile at him and say, "Yes, dear, I am." 

 

Tael 

 

Hello, Tael. Thanks for coming today, I am excited to interview you.

It's an honor to be here. shifts uncomfortably in his chair Though I will say this is my first interview, so take it easy on me.

No hard questions, I promise. What was your first impression of Jenna?

You said no hard questions! She's going to kill me when I say this, but I didn't understand her at all. She witnessed the murder of both her parents, yet, she appeared to have hardly sustained any emotional damage from it. So, first impressions? Heartless, emotionally dead, some kind of strange creature who feeds on pain. I don't know, honestly. I just know it completely confused me.

You're right, she's going to kill you for saying that.

Thanks... this is entrapment... isn't this entrapment? 

Next question. When was the first time you were attracted to Jenna? 

The night she stood at the window, with her hand pressed against the glass as the rain ran down the outside. I watched her, she didn't move for hours. That's when I knew that the scar of that night was so deep, she couldn't help but ignore it because it was literally tearing her apart. At that moment, all I wanted to do was fix her... take away her pain, anything. 

Tell me about the first time you told her you cared about her.

Well, it wasn't as diplomatic as that, unfortunately. I was angry at her, as I am a good sixty percent of the time. I just yelled it into her face. She was being difficult and stubborn and I was tired of fighting with her. So I just said it.

She talks a lot, doesn't she?

Yes. All the time. I worship the person who created movies, because I think they're the only thing that saves me. When we sit down together and watch a movie, she gets to be surrounded by words, and I get to zone out but still be with her. I love hearing what she has to say, but I also cherish those times when nothing is said, but we're together... it's hard to explain.

How do your best and worst memory of the safehouse link together? 

The hardest thing for me were the endless nightmares that Jenna endured. Every night. Sometimes, every hour of the night. I would pray that I could take them from her, you know. Just to give her a break. Yet, those nights – the long hours in the middle of the night, when she was too afraid to go back to sleep... those were some of the best times we had together. The movies, the games, the stupid and enraging conversations. God works in mysterious ways. 

She was different than other witnesses you protected. Why did she catch your attention?

She was so intensely annoying and infuriating and fascinating... if you imagine the brightest neon colors, that's what Jenna was to me. It hurt to look at her, but my eyes automatically gravitated that way. I couldn't help it. And it drove me crazy, because we always fought, and never agreed, and drove each other crazy... but on a deeper level we understood each other. When it came down to the wire, we were so amazingly in synch, that the glaring differences were all but invisible. 

What's your idea of the perfect date?

Something quiet, something small and private and... anything that doesn't include rock climbing or crazy left-handed bowling challenges. The middle of a meadow, with nothing but fresh air and sunshine, a small picnic basket. That would be perfect. 

Confessions of an INTJ

I (Introvert)
N (Intuitive)
T (Thinker)
J (Judger)

"The Architect"

"It's lonely at the top, and being one of the rarest and most strategically capable personality types, INTJs know this all too well.  INTJs form just 2% of the population, and women of this personality type are especially rare, forming just 0.8% of the population - it is often a challenge for them to find like-minded individuals who are able to keep up their relentless intellectualism and chess-like maneuvering.  People with the INTJ personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitions yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy." 

That's what the 16 Personalities website says, anyway.  There's a lot more to my personality, though!  Here are a few things you may not know about me...

* It's not an accident that I'm wearing mismatched socks.  I planned it.  Look again, they even match my outfit, don't they?

* If you are making that annoying clicking noise, you should probably know I am currently planning your demise. 

* I love talking to you, I just hate initiating conversations. 

* If you have something to tell me, just tell me!  Don't make me guess. 

* I have the attention span of a two year old.  If you don't grab my interest within the first minute of our conversation, I will "check out," simply nod, and agree with everything you say while my mind wanders to something more interesting.

* I thrive on conversations that make me smarter or cause me to think about things I've never thought about before.  Even if I don't agree with your conclusions, I view it as a successful conversation if you've caused me to think outside the box.

* When inspiration hits, I can work on a single project for hours on end, not even stopping to eat or sleep.  However, if inspiration is lacking, I struggle to focus for five minutes. 

* If you bring me a problem, expect a solution, not a shoulder to cry on. 

* Liars irk me not because they are lying but because they insult my intelligence when they expect me to believe their falsehoods.

* If you're going to lecture me, give me an outline of the topics you covered at the end, because I probably zoned out somewhere in the middle.  I want to hear your thoughts, but I know what you're going to say after the first ten words come out of your mouth.  The fact that it takes you fifteen minutes to say what I already know you're going to say bores me.

* Sarcasm is my way of insulting you in an appropriate fashion.  Essentially, I am running mental circles around your illogical frame of mind. 

* I will readily admit I'm wrong if you can prove to me that your way is better.  Otherwise, I will stick to my opinion, even if I am stacked against 100 people who disagree with me.

* I am fiercely loyal to those who prove themselves to me, and give you the benefit of the doubt until then.  But if you stab me in the back, I will disown you forever.

* Justice is more important to me than mercy. 

* I have a reason for EVERYTHING I do... the way I turn a doorknob, why I double knot my shoes, why I hold the hand-held mixer backwards instead of forwards.  If you don't understand, just ask!  I'm not weird, I just live outside the box in order to make my life worth living!

* Furthermore, if you are telling me I'm doing something wrong but can't back up your own actions with a well thought-out logical argument, you've just lost my respect. 

* I overthink social interactions.  Don't be surprised if I'm still thinking about our conversation a week later... it's just what I do. 

* I expect you to tell me what you want me to know.  I'm not a mind reader - if you're upset, then say so.  God gave you words, use them! 

* I learn anything and everything I can so that life doesn't catch me by surprise.  Not knowing is the scariest thing to me.

* Failing in front of people is not acceptable under any circumstances.  If I'm trying something for the first time and am not confident that it will be a success, I will not tell you what I'm doing.

* Team work only works when the team sees things my way. 

* If you've succeeded in telling a joke I haven't already guessed the answer to, you'll make me laugh every time I think of it.

Want to be a part of the 16 Personality post series?  Take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com!  If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU!
 

Christi Ella Ryder lives in the country with her dogs and her books.  She's a jack of all trades, picking up many new hobbies, learning everything she can, and storing the knowledge away for future dates.  Although she loves to travel, she spends a lot of her time at home, homeschooling her younger siblings, learning homemaking skills from her mother, and entertaining herself with reading, writing, sewing, photography, dancing, and watching movies. 

What's for Dinner - Sesame Chicken

Helping little hands... "Am I holding this whisk right?"

Here's a family favorite... it takes about one and a half hours, but well worth the time.  :)

Sesame Chicken

12 chicken breasts (cubed)
3/4c. soy sauce
3TBS brown sugar
3TBS sherry wine (or 2TBS of white vinegar, 1/2TBS lemon juice, 1/2TBS white sugar)

Mix together and let sit for 30 min.  Strain off marinade, coat with flour or cornstarch and fry in a 1/4" of oil. 

Sauce:
3/4c. honey
3/4c soy sauce
1c. chicken broth
1TBS ground ginger
1 1/2TBS brown sugar
2TBS cornstarch 

Mix together in sauce pan over medium heat until thick, stirring constantly.  Pour over cooked chicken.  Sprinkle with Sesame seeds and serve hot with rice. 

Serves 10ish (it all depends on who is eating)