Some of you know me well enough to know
that I don't plan to go to college, others may have guessed, and the
rest are hearing this for the first time. I'm very open about that
fact and am comfortable with my decision. However, a lot of people
don't understand, they struggle to grasp the reasoning behind this –
my – thought processes of being a stay-at-home mom.
Just the other day, a young man told
me, "It's none of my business, but I think you're really
intelligent and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by not
pursuing higher education."
Is he right? I've thought about his
comment a lot. Oftentimes, when we're taught something from a very
young age, we unconsciously lose the ability to think about it (and
related subjects) objectively. I see it a lot both in society and
homeschool circles. Knowing this, in order to be as objective as
possible, it's important to start from the very beginning, back so
far you're not sure you've ever been there before.
First of all, what gives our lives
worth (notice I refrain from placing the worth directly on the
individual as in most society, human life is automatically assumed to
be "worth" something)? Some of the most common answers
would be, religion, family, money, career, public service, and
scholastic achievements. The question is then, why
do we believe that these things give our lives worth? I believe I can safely divide
the list into two categories.
Self-Fulfilling Self-Sacrificing
*Scholastic Achievements *Religion
*Career *Family
*Money (and/or Possessions) *Public
Service
I think, herein lies the secret. It
seems that society takes up the list on the left while
Christian/homeschool circles wholeheartedly embrace the one on the
right. At the root, this is where we differ... where I differ from
the aforementioned young man.
In his eyes, if one does not spend hours
upon hours writing papers, listening to lectures, and eventually
gaining a piece of paper that says they've done so, than their life is somehow
worth less than someone who does. Gaining knowledge through a
structured system from an (oftentimes) biased set of people is an
appropriate and possibly the only way to improve and apply oneself in
order to become successful. Because, without scholastic achievements,
one cannot get a worthwhile career, which in turn prevents one from
earning large amounts of money. And in today's society, money and
happiness are often thought to go hand in hand... you cannot have
one without the other.
On the flipside (see the list on the right), religious (specifically Christian/homeschool) groups believe
that true worth comes from servanthood. In the form of religion, you
must recognize your overall significance (or insignificance) in relation to the
bigger picture due to a higher power. With family, one must
oftentimes sacrifice self in order to maintain healthy relationships
with those one is related to (which includes choosing them over
personal needs or desires). Finally, some people even add public
service to this, which comes as a way to reach out even further to
those who may not be receiving adequate amounts of personal care
and love. This public service is not in lieu of but in addition to
the others, coming alongside religion and family.
For the sake of clarity and brevity, I
will stop there, though there are many more points that could be
added to both sides of the argument.
These two trains of thought both have
pros and cons, and I believe a healthy balance is important. I will
readily clarify that I do not have a problem with higher education,
nor do I believe that it is wrong to go to college and get a degree.
I believe that within the Will of God we are given significant
freedom to make decisions based on our situations, tendencies, and
position in life. However, at the same time, I do not believe that
higher education is the answer to all of the problems we face now as
a nation, especially as it is taught at community colleges and
universities. What is the answer, then?
Each person must decide for themselves
what they decide to make of their lives. What is most important to
them? For some, it may be defending the rights of homeschoolers in
court (HSLDA), becoming and RN or MD to heal people
physically, or perhaps joining the military in order to preserve the
rights and freedoms we still have in this country.
The first two examples require many
years of schooling and can easily accrue large amount of debt. The
third simply requires a highschool diploma but years of dedication
and sacrifice. Are some life-decisions, namely concerning career
paths, more earth shaking than others? I would venture to say, only
in the eye of the beholder. Where would we be without doctors, to
heal not only citizens but also our military members? Where would we
be without military/law enforcement to keep us safe? And without
lawyers, who would represent those hard-fought-for freedoms. Each
one needs the other in order to be worth anything at all.
Now, I ask you. Who grows up to become
lawyers, doctors, and soldiers? Children do... children are the very
foundation of our country. As such, I find it very surprising that
they are cast aside so frequently, left in daycare, enrolled in
school, required to partake in sports, and left almost wholly
without the loving guidance of their parents (the only people who
truly care about the wellbeing of their child as an individual).
This, in turn, adds stay-at-home mother and wife to the list of important career choices. It is not any more or less important than other careers. It is equal, because without children raised with good morals and strong work ethics, who will become lawyers, doctors, and soldiers? And without those careers awaiting them, what are those children to set their sights on?
So, the statement, "It's none of
my business, but I think you're really intelligent and I think you're
doing yourself a disservice by not pursuing higher education,"
essentially contradicts itself. If I am believed to be an
intelligent person, why do you automatically assume that I would
purposefully make such an (obviously) stupid decision?
Each side can take steps to remedy
this. If the asker truly wants his words to make a difference, the
statement should be changed to, "I think you're a really intelligent
person, but I don't quite understand a certain decision you've made.
Would you mind explaining it to me?" However, if the question
is not asked in such a way, that doesn't leave people like me without recourse.
Perhaps we, as the rebel to the status quo, should reply, "Thank
you so much for sharing your honest opinion with me, I truly
appreciate your concern. I would love to explain the reasoning
behind my decision if you are interested in listening." In doing
so, perhaps the chasm between the two sides of society can be
bridged, even just for a moment.
What do you think? Do you agree, disagree, or have additional thoughts to add?
