Confessions of an ISFP

The amazing author Jessica Greyson is here to tell you about her personality type! Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com. If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU! 

We like to think, that we are special out of the box little people that roam the world, we are the artist and adventurer who as much as we like being thought of as single individuals are the second largest group of introverts that exist...which we don’t find that terribly exciting because, well, naturally we’d rather be a unique rare individual.

I know for myself, the things that I cherish are harmony, creativity, beauty and little pockets of adventure.

When you first meet me I am like a jack in the box. I am there but you certainly don’t see me, you might hear slips and blips about who I might be, but nothing really shows, it’s because I am getting to know you and then BAM! Personality pops out, it might surprise you, and you might wish that I had stayed in the box, because now, you never know what may come out.

Forming opinions isn’t one of the things I do best, it takes a lot of introspection and thinking to come up with an idea I feel like sharing, I seem to float along the river enjoying the ride, but what is really happening is I am taking in several layers of information and analyzing it, filtering, weighing it against my values and the people around me, and it may be hours, days, or even weeks before I come out with an opinion, that I am usually pretty ready to stand by and defend, because it’s been sounded out, and makes sense...at least to me, though usually how I came to it is probably well, unethical. However giving an on the spot answer isn’t something I do well and you will usually get an answer that isn’t through and keeps me banging my head against the wall for hours wishing I had said something different.

People watching or reading is one thing I like to do, but it can be very difficult as well. Sometimes I can understand different personality languages, and when they misunderstand each other, it erupts harmony and causes all kinds of trouble, and then trouble builds up in us as well as we watching things escalate and there is nothing we can do!

Also things will frequently build up inside, dreams, desires, goals, plans, aspirations slowly create themselves and evolve under my little thinking cap and then burst out with at least an idea or a fully laid out plan of execution. We are dreamers but also doers. Because what is the point of DREAMING of something if you don’t plan on doing it? I am not a huge fan of sitting on my hands doing nothing unless a thought is growing, I love to watch it evolve and twist and grow and then when it’s ready, so am I to just go where it takes us.

Risks, are something I would have never taken as a child, but they are things I find more interesting as I grow older, the risk of being a published author...it seemed scary but to me the benefits of publishing my writing far outweighed the bad that could possibly happen. Sometimes it shows up in a game of Jenga where I’ll take the more risky blocks...just to see what happens. I know that 90 times out of 10 it will probably fall, but there is that chance that is driven by my curiosity, and it’s only a game of Jenga. And in my case my interest and love of Asia took over and I found it worth the risk to travel half way around the world to be an English teacher.

Things that tick us off:

No harmony.

All dream no do. I mean where is the adventure if you’re not willing to take a few risks and stick your neck out a limb? Needless to say it must be

Things that tickle us:

When you pick up a hint of something we are interested and dying to share and are just ready to burst our buttons off with all kinds of things that have been brewing for the past several months.

Peace and quiet...and a little daydreaming of course. 

Jessica Greyson is a middle child of three, published author of two and Daughter of the One and Only God. She loves her family, books, her characters, old fashioned weaponry, quiet and adventure. You can find her at www.jessicagreyson.com and her books on amazon.

Why Are Mothers Worth Less In Society's Eyes?

Some of you know me well enough to know that I don't plan to go to college, others may have guessed, and the rest are hearing this for the first time. I'm very open about that fact and am comfortable with my decision. However, a lot of people don't understand, they struggle to grasp the reasoning behind this – my – thought processes of being a stay-at-home mom.

 

Just the other day, a young man told me, "It's none of my business, but I think you're really intelligent and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by not pursuing higher education."

Is he right? I've thought about his comment a lot. Oftentimes, when we're taught something from a very young age, we unconsciously lose the ability to think about it (and related subjects) objectively. I see it a lot both in society and homeschool circles. Knowing this, in order to be as objective as possible, it's important to start from the very beginning, back so far you're not sure you've ever been there before.

First of all, what gives our lives worth (notice I refrain from placing the worth directly on the individual as in most society, human life is automatically assumed to be "worth" something)? Some of the most common answers would be, religion, family, money, career, public service, and scholastic achievements. The question is then, why do we believe that these things give our lives worth? I believe I can safely divide the list into two categories.

Self-Fulfilling                                                                   Self-Sacrificing

*Scholastic Achievements                                             *Religion

*Career                                                                              *Family

*Money (and/or Possessions)                                      *Public Service

       

I think, herein lies the secret. It seems that society takes up the list on the left while Christian/homeschool circles wholeheartedly embrace the one on the right. At the root, this is where we differ... where I differ from the aforementioned young man.

In his eyes, if one does not spend hours upon hours writing papers, listening to lectures, and eventually gaining a piece of paper that says they've done so, than their life is somehow worth less than someone who does. Gaining knowledge through a structured system from an (oftentimes) biased set of people is an appropriate and possibly the only way to improve and apply oneself in order to become successful. Because, without scholastic achievements, one cannot get a worthwhile career, which in turn prevents one from earning large amounts of money. And in today's society, money and happiness are often thought to go hand in hand... you cannot have one without the other.

On the flipside (see the list on the right), religious (specifically Christian/homeschool) groups believe that true worth comes from servanthood. In the form of religion, you must recognize your overall significance (or insignificance) in relation to the bigger picture due to a higher power. With family, one must oftentimes sacrifice self in order to maintain healthy relationships with those one is related to (which includes choosing them over personal needs or desires). Finally, some people even add public service to this, which comes as a way to reach out even further to those who may not be receiving adequate amounts of personal care and love. This public service is not in lieu of but in addition to the others, coming alongside religion and family.

For the sake of clarity and brevity, I will stop there, though there are many more points that could be added to both sides of the argument.

 These two trains of thought both have pros and cons, and I believe a healthy balance is important. I will readily clarify that I do not have a problem with higher education, nor do I believe that it is wrong to go to college and get a degree. I believe that within the Will of God we are given significant freedom to make decisions based on our situations, tendencies, and position in life. However, at the same time, I do not believe that higher education is the answer to all of the problems we face now as a nation, especially as it is taught at community colleges and universities. What is the answer, then?

Each person must decide for themselves what they decide to make of their lives. What is most important to them? For some, it may be defending the rights of homeschoolers in court (HSLDA), becoming and RN or MD to heal people physically, or perhaps joining the military in order to preserve the rights and freedoms we still have in this country.

The first two examples require many years of schooling and can easily accrue large amount of debt.  The third simply requires a highschool diploma but years of dedication and sacrifice. Are some life-decisions, namely concerning career paths, more earth shaking than others? I would venture to say, only in the eye of the beholder. Where would we be without doctors, to heal not only citizens but also our military members? Where would we be without military/law enforcement to keep us safe? And without lawyers, who would represent those hard-fought-for freedoms. Each one needs the other in order to be worth anything at all.

Now, I ask you. Who grows up to become lawyers, doctors, and soldiers? Children do... children are the very foundation of our country. As such, I find it very surprising that they are cast aside so frequently, left in daycare, enrolled in school, required to partake in sports, and left almost wholly without the loving guidance of their parents (the only people who truly care about the wellbeing of their child as an individual).   

This, in turn, adds stay-at-home mother and wife to the list of important career choices.  It is not any more or less important than other careers.  It is equal, because without children raised with good morals and strong work ethics, who will become lawyers, doctors, and soldiers?  And without those careers awaiting them, what are those children to set their sights on?

So, the statement, "It's none of my business, but I think you're really intelligent and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by not pursuing higher education," essentially contradicts itself. If I am believed to be an intelligent person, why do you automatically assume that I would purposefully make such an (obviously) stupid decision?

Each side can take steps to remedy this. If the asker truly wants his words to make a difference, the statement should be changed to, "I think you're a really intelligent person, but I don't quite understand a certain decision you've made. Would you mind explaining it to me?" However, if the question is not asked in such a way, that doesn't leave people like me without recourse. Perhaps we, as the rebel to the status quo, should reply, "Thank you so much for sharing your honest opinion with me, I truly appreciate your concern. I would love to explain the reasoning behind my decision if you are interested in listening." In doing so, perhaps the chasm between the two sides of society can be bridged, even just for a moment.

                                              

What do you think?  Do you agree, disagree, or have additional thoughts to add? 

Confessions of an ISFJ

A very special person in my life is going to tell us about her personality type. Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com. If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU! 

Hi there!! I am here to tell you about the mysterious mind of the ISFJ, Nurturers/Defenders!! I have been studying personality types for a few years now and I find it amazing that we can understand why people act the way they do because of the combinations of these four areas. I do want to mention that even though we fall into one of these personality types does not mean that we are the same. We are stamped with the handiwork of God and are each unique. We are here for a special purpose and even though we find out which personality we are, doesn’t change the fact that we are created with great worth and we make up the only one on this earth that is us. So without further ado, here is a small portrait of what makes me an ISFJ.

I think the biggest desire in my heart is to love everyone and to make them happy. I want to believe the best in every person that I meet. In group settings I strive to keep unity among all members and I am constantly looking out for the feelings of those around me. I almost have an alarm in my body that goes off when someone is upset, I can feel it inside and I work hard to calm the doubts or fears that the individual is expressing. This strength of mine is a huge weakness too. Pleasing people is not always a positive thing. I am not saying that helping people or telling them that you are thinking about them is bad. ISFJ’s however often will make decisions so that it will help out their friend. That still doesn’t sound so bad, but just imagine that you multiply that friend by 5 and all of a sudden you have a whole family of people to please. It can’t be done, and this can often make the ISFJ feel like they have failed.

My biggest strength is listening. I love to sit down and hear about people’s lives, their dreams, their fears. If you want to talk, I will listen. I will share your passion and understand why you feel the way you do. I can remember conversations for a long time, and your emotions or facial expressions or intonation will be cemented into my mind. ISFJ’s internalize everything and they store it away so that it will be usable in the future with encouraging someone. ISFJ’s value people and work to know them on a deeper level.

My inner world is a mystery. It is not often opened to you, and in the small chance that I let you in, I will only share what I am absolutely confident in. I love to talk about what is going on in your world, but before I tell you about my world I need to have processed. I need to have a plan of action to tell you what is going on, but I constantly take things in, and am thinking about them. I can also harbor negative feelings, and those do not come out as easily. This is a huge weakness because when I get overfull, I start spilling a confused flow of feelings. ISFJ’s need to learn to share what they are feeling and let the negative feelings free. Those can be harmful to the mind of the ISFJ as they will continue to think about the negative feelings and feel sorry for themselves. Learning to talk through the feelings that they have with people would greatly impact the ISFJ’s ability to serve.

I do not like to say no. I want to help everyone! If I hear that you need something, or you ask me to do something, I want to please you and to make life as easy as possible, so I am going to say yes! This becomes a weakness all too soon. My calendar and life becomes stressed and strained. I have to constantly tell myself that I can help out but I need to make sure that I have enough time to get my things done as well.

I easily become stressed or discouraged if I think that my work is not noticed. As you can probably tell, there is a lot that I do, and I like to work backstage, but I need to hear encouragement. I live my life for other people but it can often become tedious and hard to please everyone. ISFJ’s are prone to say “I can’t do anything right.” This thought pops into my head very frequently and I try and remember that I am made just the way I am supposed to be. When I am told “thank you” or “you did a wonderful job with that”. Just that sentence can boost my stamina and confidence. Positive encouragement is crucial to my life or I can easily feel left out.

ISFJ’s hide from conflict. They are the nurturers and they like to avoid a disruption to the flow of life. If they are the cause of the trouble, the will take criticism personally and internalize it. I often need to remind myself that conflict is what makes relationships stronger as we work through differences. It is still a struggle but I am getting better at coming into conflict with an open mind and talking about what I am feeling.

In a nutshell, ISFJ’s are dependable, they will love you with everything they have and they are generous and will selflessly serve you. They are altruistic and it doesn’t bother them at all. They have a strong desire to keep things running smoothly and they often need to remember that they need some of the love that they share with everyone else.

If you would like to understand more about ISFJ’s you can read about them here:

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ_rel.html

or here

http://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality

 Rachelle lives in New Mexico with her family. She teaches piano and directs a preschool choir. Right now she is planning her wedding and can’t wait to marry the love that God brought into her life. While she is not busy teaching piano or calling vendors she enjoys photography and cooking.