A New Journey Begins

Hello! 

Sorry I've been so remiss in blogging.  Life has been a bit of a rollercoaster lately, but I think the track is beginning to level out.  (I did just say that out loud, so if you don't hear from me again, you'll know what happened.)

What's been going on since the last time I wrote a blog post??

*I went to visit a friend in Colorado (https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1478042072524567.1073741834.100009563643143&type=1&l=5e5c6d488d).
*I dance as often as I can.
*Drawing: InkTober sounded like such a great idea at the beginning of the month, but now I'm just counting down the days until November. (ttps://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1480357435626364.1073741835.100009563643143&type=1&l=d705949d8a)
*Editing Kellen
*Plotting Jenna for NaNoWriMo
*Babysitting
*Reading 

But that's kind of old news.  There is exciting news.  I met with a published author this week and she walked me through how to write a book proposal and some of the steps I need to take to get published. 

For the next couple weeks (or however long it takes) I plan to get my proposal written and looking quite spiffy.  That includes the first three chapters of Kellen to attach to the proposal.

After that I'm going to start scouting out agents to send it to (if you know of any good ones, let me know!) and start emailing my proposal to see if I can pick up an agent that way.  I've heard it's really hard to get accepted as an unpublished author this way, but I figure it's worth a try anyway.  It can't hurt and I might just get lucky.   

Starting in 2016 I hope to begin attending writer's conferences, since this is a more reliable way to get agents, editors, and publishers interested... plus I've heard the conferences are very educational and a lot of fun.  :)  Who doesn't want to go spend a weekend learning about writing and hanging out with authors?!  (Again, if you know of any conferences that are really good, I'd love to hear about them!) 

I'll be posting my publishing progress here on my blog in the upcoming months.  I'm super excited to finally be starting this process in earnest and I hope some of my experiences will prove helpful to anyone else looking to get published.  I'm always interested to hear from my readers, so if you are published and have tips for me, or are just starting out and have any questions that I might be able to answer for you along the way, please leave a comment!     

So, yep.  That's pretty much it!  I better get back to my proposal... and editing, and saving my money... :) 

Confessions of an ENFP

My long-time friend is here to tell you about her personality type! Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com. If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU! 


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.
---Oriah Mountain Dreamer


ENFP, that’s me! The quote above describes me somewhat accurately… although I have so say, my upbringing affects it to the point that I do actually care more about the mundane things in life (like job, daily life, etc) than it portrays. Just putting that out there. ;-)

 So what is it like for an ENFP? Well, let’s just take a paragraph from the personality test itself…

“The ENFP personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike Explorers, they are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.”

7%? Not too bad… kind of neat, actually, to think we’re that unique. ;) 

This here is going to explain a bit about me… but I honestly don’t know how to write up this post… but hey, I’ll give it my best shot. It won’t look professional but hopefully it makes sense. So, a breakdown of some of the misconceptions about us ENFPs:

(First, even if we share a personality, we’re all very different. We’re rather affected by our past in the sense that we obviously don’t follow these personality ‘explanations’ to a T. Of course, this is the case for everyone. However, it seems like our personality gets hit more with the expectation of being extremely similar.) 

1.)I am actually rather sensitive to personal jokes. There are only a select few people in my circle of friends who can joke about me in any way they like. The rest, however, may do so, but it tends to be hurtful instead of funny. I don’t know why and it really doesn’t make sense to me, but there it is. I suppose it’s because I need to *really* know that what you’re joking about isn’t what you actually think.

2.)I’m not an entertainer. Yes, my friends may be disagreeing with me at this point, but let me explain. At a party it is true that I’m usually the one making jokes or telling funny stories and making everyone laugh. However, believe it or not, it’s not because I like the attention. Truly. I’m not a huge ‘I must have attention’ kind of person. In fact, I’m usually very content to NOT be the center of attention. However, I am extremely sensitive to the people around me. I love to be happy and therefore I want everyone else to be happy. So if it makes you happy when I tell a joke or funny story, I’ll pull everything I’ve got just to put that smile on your face, even if it means a personal joke that goes against fact #1.

3.)I’m more sensitive/observant than I seem. I may look and act goofy, but again, refer to #2. This isn’t because I am. I’m actually very aware of things going on around me- so long as they pertain to a personal level (if you want me to be aware that someone is coming up behind me with a glass of water and I should keep my hands to myself… well, that’s a different problem). A friend is having a conversation and seems to be getting frustrated; I’ll pick up on that. Someone seems to be hurting; I’ll pick up on that, too. However, I don’t always tell you that I’ve done so. Why? Mainly because I’m not one to bring up big topics in a crowd. Again, #2. Not everyone wants to talk about politics, theology, the world’s problems, etc. Also, I don’t know what it is exactly that you’re dealing with… so I try to steer clear until I know how to actually approach it- I don’t want to make it worse than it is! As the test result said ‘ENFPs are very sensitive and emotional- so if they step on someone’s toes, they both feel it.’

4.)I’m actually very intelligent. Again, don’t know why I do this… however, my personality likes to ‘live up to the expectation’. The typical expectation of me is that I’m the entertainer. I’m supposed to be goofy. I’m supposed to be making people laugh. If acting slightly stupid for comic relief is needed, I’m your girl. However, it can be rather frustrating on my end because few people know I can actually be serious. I love talking ‘deep stuff’. You want to talk about theology? Oh yes, bring it on. Politics? The latest debates on big subjects? I’m totally in. However, I tend to do these more in personal settings, one on one. Again, referring to #2… if it’s a big group, I’ll just stay silent because I’m afraid of saying something that not everyone will agree with. 

5.)I don’t like hurting feelings. To refer to #3, this may sound slightly odd… I mean, no one likes actually hurting people. However, I tend to over think offenses. Literally. I will stay awake regretting things and feeling really horribly over hurt I’ve caused others. I can even cry over it. Now, this is sometimes nice because it means I’m usually rather careful about causing offense in the first place. However, it can also be bad because I end up getting ‘walked on’ a lot because I won’t tell others to ‘ease off’. If someone makes a joke that really cuts deep, I’d rather laugh over it and mask the hurt than tell them it was mean and then risk *them* getting hurt feelings over it. I know. It doesn’t make sense to me either. 

6.)Words of affirmation go a really long way. I may seem like an extremely confident person, but deep down I can sometimes be trembling and knocking my knees together. There are many days when I feel rather independent and just fine on my own… but usually I need a little affirmation, even if it’s just a happy hello or a compliment. Usually, however, the ones that go the longest are the heartfelt ones of ‘I appreciate you’ or ‘I love you’.

So those are just a few things explaining some misconceptions about us ENFPs. So we may have some awesome qualities just like other personalities… we also have our downsides. We’re not perfect, after all. I can tend to over think things WAY too much… Why did that person say that in *that* way? What does it mean? I’m typically trying to read between the lines. This can be frustrating for both me and the person involved… Because I’ll come to a certain conclusion only to find out it’s completely opposite of what I thought. However, I’m slowly learning to curb that a bit. But only a little bit. ;-)

I can also lose interest really quickly in the ‘mundane’ things in life if I’m not able to express some creativity in whatever it is I’m doing. Be it sharing ideas on how to improve something or even just wanting to do things a bit differently to ‘shake it up’ a little.

I also can’t bear the thought of disappointing someone… which can be good and bad. It helps with getting tasks done and such but it can be bad because this actually seems to make my personality seem a bit hypocritical. I want to be free and try new things… but I also don’t because I don’t want to disappoint. Again, it’s weird… but then again, my whole personality is a bit weird, isn’t it?

“Can't I fly helicopters AND be an oceanographer who writes songs and cooks?” 
This one made me laugh. It’s extremely true. You’ll find that we ENFPs don’t like dabbling in just one thing… we like having a LOT of things to do. Which also means we tend to do better with several jobs as opposed to one career. (Nanny, rancher, violinist, seamstress, gardener, etc… I think I’ve got my bases covered.)

 A few fun facts:

-We’re easily entertained

-We don’t actually wear our hearts on our sleeves… we only seem to do so, even to those closest to us.

-We take great delight in the simplest of things- a flower, a particularly blue sky, etc.

-We love it when friends are successful, even if we’re in a ‘low spot’. We don’t let our personal ups and down affect the way we react to other’s happiness or sorrows.

-We’re very curious and love learning all sorts of things.

-We know how to relax and enjoy life.

-We can change moods in an instant- even surprising those closest to us.

-We can be easily distracted, but we can also really focus.

-We sometimes really like some of the mundane things- again contradicting our own personality, but sometimes we need to just ‘disconnect’ for a bit.

So in conclusion… well, yeah, conclusion.

Few personality types are as creative and charismatic as ENFPs. Known for their idealism and enthusiasm, ENFPs are good at dealing with unexpected challenges and brightening the lives of those around them. ENFPs' imagination is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.
Yet ENFPs can be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and kindness are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, staying calm under pressure, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder or making difficult decisions, ENFPs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.

If you’re so inclined, you can read more about ENFPs on this link: http://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality

If you know an ENFP, it might be helpful to read up on it… we’re an odd lot and we long to be understood… but it’s also hard to just explain it.

I’m off to go dream up a few more ideas because, well, you can never have too many of those, right?















Sarah Heckendorn is a web designer, nanny, musician, and writer. She has many hobbies and enjoys being with people she loves. She lives on a cattle ranch with her family in New Mexico.

Visual? Auditory? Tactile?

Learning styles.  This subject has been occupying a lot of my brain power lately so I figured I'd write it down and let you think about it too.  :)

There are three main learning styles:

Visual (learning by seeing)
Auditory (learning by hearing)
Tactile (learning by touching/doing)



Which twin H is which?

Growing up in a large family and being homeschooled has caused me to notice this more than I might have otherwise.  When it comes to the tricky subject of spelling, there are three different strategies in my home.  Visual learners do best if they take the time to draw a picture using the word.  Auditory learners just spell the word out loud several times and then sound it out the way it would sound if it sounded like it's spelled.  Tactile learners tend to use an alphabet hop-scotch mat and physically "hop" out the words letter by letter. 

This translates to all different subjects... during math, visual learners write down the problem, auditory learners whisper under their breath talking themselves through the problem, and tactile learners oftentimes count on their fingers well into highschool. 


This made me curious as to my learning style.  So, I took a test.  My results were:

50% Visual
25% Auditory
25% Tactile

I rely heavily on my vision, but I also suffer from slight dyslexia, which causes me to flip numbers (especially 2, 3, and 4 digit numbers) making memorizing historical dates and phone numbers very difficult (did the Civil war end in 1865 or 1856??).  But if I say these numbers out loud or create a picture with them like in the example above, I am more likely to remember.  When I'm shopping, I first decide if I want to get something by the way it looks, then I touch it.  I use YouTube more than any other site for discovering new things because it's visually appealing.  While I love reading, the lack of visual stimuli from audio books leaves me unable to concentrate.   

After watching a TV show today (no judging, it was educational) my mind very nearly blew a fuse as I began to question the importance of knowing our learning style as we navigate life.  How much does our learning style actually affect our every day lives?  Being a visual learner defines the way I learn, memorize, shop, and what forms of entertainment I prefer...

But what else does it affect? 

Have you ever been sitting peacefully at a stoplight and suddenly thought you were rolling backwards?  After slamming on the brakes, you realize that the car next to you was creeping forwards, causing vection?

VECTION 

The perception of self-motion induced by visual stimuli.      

As a visual learner, do I experience this illusion more often than tactile or auditory learners?  For that matter, are visual learners more likely to be fooled by an optical illusion?

Have you ever been watching a movie and suddenly jumped because the poor extra got shot unexpectedly?  Are auditory learners more apt to jump in this situation than visual or tactile?  Are you more successful at scaring a tactile learner if you include physical stimuli, such as grabbing him/her from behind rather than just saying "Boo!"?

Finally, do these inherent discrepancies explain why three people who witness the same crime all recount it differently?  Is it because they are automatically programmed to pay more attention to one aspect more than another?    If visual learners were only allowed to testify about what they saw, auditory learners what they heard, and tactile learners what they experienced, would the stories match up better?  Or, does knowing this about themselves cause them to compensate, forcing them to pay more attention to the other two that are not inherent to them?

I probably should have warned you - I do not have any answers today.  Maybe someday, but not today.


 

WE REMEMBER

We remember: September 11, 2001. The beautiful clear morning, the crisp fall air. New York, Washington, and Shanksville. The perfectly blue skies. At 8:51am, it was 68F at Central park, 72F at La Guardia, 73F at JFK and Newark Airports.

We remember: American Airlines Flight 11, from Boston to LA, carrying 76 passengers, 11 crewmen, and 5 hijackers. The words of the hijackers, "Nobody move please, we are going back to the airport ... don't try to make any stupid moves." The words of the flight attendant, "I see the water. I see the buildings. I see buildings... Oh, my God!" The time, 8:46:21am. Destination, the North Tower. 

We remember: United Airlines Flight 175, from Boston to LA, carrying 51 passengers, 9 crewmen, and 5 hijackers. The stabbing of Daniel Lewin, believed to be the first fatality. The message left by Brian Sweeny, a US Air Force pilot at 8:59am to his wife, "If things don't go well, and it's not looking good, I want you to know I absolutely love you." The time, 9:03:11am. Destination, the South Tower.

We remember: American Airlines flight 77, from Washington to LA, carrying 53 passengers, 6 crewmen, and 5 hijackers. The 3 minute struggle for control inside the plane. The western side of the Pentagon. Time, 9:37:46am.

We remember: United Airlines Flight 93, from Newark to San Francisco, carrying 33 passengers, 7 crewmen, and 4 hijackers. The heroic efforts of the passengers and crewmen. The 6 minute revolt of the passengers. The failed attempt bought with the lives of 40 heroes. The struggle that didn't stop until the end. The words, "In the cockpit! If we don't, we'll die." And the response of the hijackers, "Is that it? Shall we put it down?" "Yes, pull it down."

We remember: the mothers, father, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends who perished on that day. 2,973 lives lost. Countless hearts broken. The 90+ countries who lost citizens.

We remember: The deadliest day in history for NYC firefighters. The heroes who perished that day. 344 firefighters. 61 police. 55 military personnel. 11 paramedics.

We remember: the 4 who were added to the casualty list in the following 9 years.

But that's not all.

WE REMMBER: America. The country who was brought to its knees, but rose up ready to fight. The outpouring of love that flowed through this great nation. The grief that didn't pull it apart, but drew it together. The cross that stood out among the rubble. The lives changed by others' sacrifices. The pain that made it stronger. The victims as well as the survivors. The blood spilled and the blood saved. Tears for those lost and tears for those reunited.

WE REMEMBER: the words of our president. "Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundations of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve."

WE REMEMBER: where we were that day and we pray we never see another day like it. But we remember. We cannot help but remember. May we never forget.

Confessions of an ISFP

The amazing author Jessica Greyson is here to tell you about her personality type! Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com. If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU! 

We like to think, that we are special out of the box little people that roam the world, we are the artist and adventurer who as much as we like being thought of as single individuals are the second largest group of introverts that exist...which we don’t find that terribly exciting because, well, naturally we’d rather be a unique rare individual.

I know for myself, the things that I cherish are harmony, creativity, beauty and little pockets of adventure.

When you first meet me I am like a jack in the box. I am there but you certainly don’t see me, you might hear slips and blips about who I might be, but nothing really shows, it’s because I am getting to know you and then BAM! Personality pops out, it might surprise you, and you might wish that I had stayed in the box, because now, you never know what may come out.

Forming opinions isn’t one of the things I do best, it takes a lot of introspection and thinking to come up with an idea I feel like sharing, I seem to float along the river enjoying the ride, but what is really happening is I am taking in several layers of information and analyzing it, filtering, weighing it against my values and the people around me, and it may be hours, days, or even weeks before I come out with an opinion, that I am usually pretty ready to stand by and defend, because it’s been sounded out, and makes sense...at least to me, though usually how I came to it is probably well, unethical. However giving an on the spot answer isn’t something I do well and you will usually get an answer that isn’t through and keeps me banging my head against the wall for hours wishing I had said something different.

People watching or reading is one thing I like to do, but it can be very difficult as well. Sometimes I can understand different personality languages, and when they misunderstand each other, it erupts harmony and causes all kinds of trouble, and then trouble builds up in us as well as we watching things escalate and there is nothing we can do!

Also things will frequently build up inside, dreams, desires, goals, plans, aspirations slowly create themselves and evolve under my little thinking cap and then burst out with at least an idea or a fully laid out plan of execution. We are dreamers but also doers. Because what is the point of DREAMING of something if you don’t plan on doing it? I am not a huge fan of sitting on my hands doing nothing unless a thought is growing, I love to watch it evolve and twist and grow and then when it’s ready, so am I to just go where it takes us.

Risks, are something I would have never taken as a child, but they are things I find more interesting as I grow older, the risk of being a published author...it seemed scary but to me the benefits of publishing my writing far outweighed the bad that could possibly happen. Sometimes it shows up in a game of Jenga where I’ll take the more risky blocks...just to see what happens. I know that 90 times out of 10 it will probably fall, but there is that chance that is driven by my curiosity, and it’s only a game of Jenga. And in my case my interest and love of Asia took over and I found it worth the risk to travel half way around the world to be an English teacher.

Things that tick us off:

No harmony.

All dream no do. I mean where is the adventure if you’re not willing to take a few risks and stick your neck out a limb? Needless to say it must be

Things that tickle us:

When you pick up a hint of something we are interested and dying to share and are just ready to burst our buttons off with all kinds of things that have been brewing for the past several months.

Peace and quiet...and a little daydreaming of course. 

Jessica Greyson is a middle child of three, published author of two and Daughter of the One and Only God. She loves her family, books, her characters, old fashioned weaponry, quiet and adventure. You can find her at www.jessicagreyson.com and her books on amazon.

Why Are Mothers Worth Less In Society's Eyes?

Some of you know me well enough to know that I don't plan to go to college, others may have guessed, and the rest are hearing this for the first time. I'm very open about that fact and am comfortable with my decision. However, a lot of people don't understand, they struggle to grasp the reasoning behind this – my – thought processes of being a stay-at-home mom.

 

Just the other day, a young man told me, "It's none of my business, but I think you're really intelligent and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by not pursuing higher education."

Is he right? I've thought about his comment a lot. Oftentimes, when we're taught something from a very young age, we unconsciously lose the ability to think about it (and related subjects) objectively. I see it a lot both in society and homeschool circles. Knowing this, in order to be as objective as possible, it's important to start from the very beginning, back so far you're not sure you've ever been there before.

First of all, what gives our lives worth (notice I refrain from placing the worth directly on the individual as in most society, human life is automatically assumed to be "worth" something)? Some of the most common answers would be, religion, family, money, career, public service, and scholastic achievements. The question is then, why do we believe that these things give our lives worth? I believe I can safely divide the list into two categories.

Self-Fulfilling                                                                   Self-Sacrificing

*Scholastic Achievements                                             *Religion

*Career                                                                              *Family

*Money (and/or Possessions)                                      *Public Service

       

I think, herein lies the secret. It seems that society takes up the list on the left while Christian/homeschool circles wholeheartedly embrace the one on the right. At the root, this is where we differ... where I differ from the aforementioned young man.

In his eyes, if one does not spend hours upon hours writing papers, listening to lectures, and eventually gaining a piece of paper that says they've done so, than their life is somehow worth less than someone who does. Gaining knowledge through a structured system from an (oftentimes) biased set of people is an appropriate and possibly the only way to improve and apply oneself in order to become successful. Because, without scholastic achievements, one cannot get a worthwhile career, which in turn prevents one from earning large amounts of money. And in today's society, money and happiness are often thought to go hand in hand... you cannot have one without the other.

On the flipside (see the list on the right), religious (specifically Christian/homeschool) groups believe that true worth comes from servanthood. In the form of religion, you must recognize your overall significance (or insignificance) in relation to the bigger picture due to a higher power. With family, one must oftentimes sacrifice self in order to maintain healthy relationships with those one is related to (which includes choosing them over personal needs or desires). Finally, some people even add public service to this, which comes as a way to reach out even further to those who may not be receiving adequate amounts of personal care and love. This public service is not in lieu of but in addition to the others, coming alongside religion and family.

For the sake of clarity and brevity, I will stop there, though there are many more points that could be added to both sides of the argument.

 These two trains of thought both have pros and cons, and I believe a healthy balance is important. I will readily clarify that I do not have a problem with higher education, nor do I believe that it is wrong to go to college and get a degree. I believe that within the Will of God we are given significant freedom to make decisions based on our situations, tendencies, and position in life. However, at the same time, I do not believe that higher education is the answer to all of the problems we face now as a nation, especially as it is taught at community colleges and universities. What is the answer, then?

Each person must decide for themselves what they decide to make of their lives. What is most important to them? For some, it may be defending the rights of homeschoolers in court (HSLDA), becoming and RN or MD to heal people physically, or perhaps joining the military in order to preserve the rights and freedoms we still have in this country.

The first two examples require many years of schooling and can easily accrue large amount of debt.  The third simply requires a highschool diploma but years of dedication and sacrifice. Are some life-decisions, namely concerning career paths, more earth shaking than others? I would venture to say, only in the eye of the beholder. Where would we be without doctors, to heal not only citizens but also our military members? Where would we be without military/law enforcement to keep us safe? And without lawyers, who would represent those hard-fought-for freedoms. Each one needs the other in order to be worth anything at all.

Now, I ask you. Who grows up to become lawyers, doctors, and soldiers? Children do... children are the very foundation of our country. As such, I find it very surprising that they are cast aside so frequently, left in daycare, enrolled in school, required to partake in sports, and left almost wholly without the loving guidance of their parents (the only people who truly care about the wellbeing of their child as an individual).   

This, in turn, adds stay-at-home mother and wife to the list of important career choices.  It is not any more or less important than other careers.  It is equal, because without children raised with good morals and strong work ethics, who will become lawyers, doctors, and soldiers?  And without those careers awaiting them, what are those children to set their sights on?

So, the statement, "It's none of my business, but I think you're really intelligent and I think you're doing yourself a disservice by not pursuing higher education," essentially contradicts itself. If I am believed to be an intelligent person, why do you automatically assume that I would purposefully make such an (obviously) stupid decision?

Each side can take steps to remedy this. If the asker truly wants his words to make a difference, the statement should be changed to, "I think you're a really intelligent person, but I don't quite understand a certain decision you've made. Would you mind explaining it to me?" However, if the question is not asked in such a way, that doesn't leave people like me without recourse. Perhaps we, as the rebel to the status quo, should reply, "Thank you so much for sharing your honest opinion with me, I truly appreciate your concern. I would love to explain the reasoning behind my decision if you are interested in listening." In doing so, perhaps the chasm between the two sides of society can be bridged, even just for a moment.

                                              

What do you think?  Do you agree, disagree, or have additional thoughts to add? 

Confessions of an ISFJ

A very special person in my life is going to tell us about her personality type. Don't forget, if you want to be part of the 16 Personality post series, take the test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and email your results to christiellaryder[at]gmail[dot]com. If the slot for your personality type is still open, you will get a chance to help people understand YOU! 

Hi there!! I am here to tell you about the mysterious mind of the ISFJ, Nurturers/Defenders!! I have been studying personality types for a few years now and I find it amazing that we can understand why people act the way they do because of the combinations of these four areas. I do want to mention that even though we fall into one of these personality types does not mean that we are the same. We are stamped with the handiwork of God and are each unique. We are here for a special purpose and even though we find out which personality we are, doesn’t change the fact that we are created with great worth and we make up the only one on this earth that is us. So without further ado, here is a small portrait of what makes me an ISFJ.

I think the biggest desire in my heart is to love everyone and to make them happy. I want to believe the best in every person that I meet. In group settings I strive to keep unity among all members and I am constantly looking out for the feelings of those around me. I almost have an alarm in my body that goes off when someone is upset, I can feel it inside and I work hard to calm the doubts or fears that the individual is expressing. This strength of mine is a huge weakness too. Pleasing people is not always a positive thing. I am not saying that helping people or telling them that you are thinking about them is bad. ISFJ’s however often will make decisions so that it will help out their friend. That still doesn’t sound so bad, but just imagine that you multiply that friend by 5 and all of a sudden you have a whole family of people to please. It can’t be done, and this can often make the ISFJ feel like they have failed.

My biggest strength is listening. I love to sit down and hear about people’s lives, their dreams, their fears. If you want to talk, I will listen. I will share your passion and understand why you feel the way you do. I can remember conversations for a long time, and your emotions or facial expressions or intonation will be cemented into my mind. ISFJ’s internalize everything and they store it away so that it will be usable in the future with encouraging someone. ISFJ’s value people and work to know them on a deeper level.

My inner world is a mystery. It is not often opened to you, and in the small chance that I let you in, I will only share what I am absolutely confident in. I love to talk about what is going on in your world, but before I tell you about my world I need to have processed. I need to have a plan of action to tell you what is going on, but I constantly take things in, and am thinking about them. I can also harbor negative feelings, and those do not come out as easily. This is a huge weakness because when I get overfull, I start spilling a confused flow of feelings. ISFJ’s need to learn to share what they are feeling and let the negative feelings free. Those can be harmful to the mind of the ISFJ as they will continue to think about the negative feelings and feel sorry for themselves. Learning to talk through the feelings that they have with people would greatly impact the ISFJ’s ability to serve.

I do not like to say no. I want to help everyone! If I hear that you need something, or you ask me to do something, I want to please you and to make life as easy as possible, so I am going to say yes! This becomes a weakness all too soon. My calendar and life becomes stressed and strained. I have to constantly tell myself that I can help out but I need to make sure that I have enough time to get my things done as well.

I easily become stressed or discouraged if I think that my work is not noticed. As you can probably tell, there is a lot that I do, and I like to work backstage, but I need to hear encouragement. I live my life for other people but it can often become tedious and hard to please everyone. ISFJ’s are prone to say “I can’t do anything right.” This thought pops into my head very frequently and I try and remember that I am made just the way I am supposed to be. When I am told “thank you” or “you did a wonderful job with that”. Just that sentence can boost my stamina and confidence. Positive encouragement is crucial to my life or I can easily feel left out.

ISFJ’s hide from conflict. They are the nurturers and they like to avoid a disruption to the flow of life. If they are the cause of the trouble, the will take criticism personally and internalize it. I often need to remind myself that conflict is what makes relationships stronger as we work through differences. It is still a struggle but I am getting better at coming into conflict with an open mind and talking about what I am feeling.

In a nutshell, ISFJ’s are dependable, they will love you with everything they have and they are generous and will selflessly serve you. They are altruistic and it doesn’t bother them at all. They have a strong desire to keep things running smoothly and they often need to remember that they need some of the love that they share with everyone else.

If you would like to understand more about ISFJ’s you can read about them here:

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ_rel.html

or here

http://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality

 Rachelle lives in New Mexico with her family. She teaches piano and directs a preschool choir. Right now she is planning her wedding and can’t wait to marry the love that God brought into her life. While she is not busy teaching piano or calling vendors she enjoys photography and cooking.